Trophies
by SwordStitcher
Summary: Ever wonder how Riddler gets those damn trophies everywhere? Switch of course. Not that she's happy about being a mule. Whenever she sets out to hide them, she ends up in trouble. Rated M for a swear.
1. Two Face

Summary: Ever wonder how Riddler gets those damn trophies everywhere? Switch of course. Not that she's happy about being a mule. Whenever she sets out to hide them, she ends up in trouble.

Rated M For one Holy Shit.

* * *

This was the 51st trophy she was hiding. She'd counted, mainly because she hated hiding these things. Some of the places Riddler told her to plant them weren't exactly easy to get into.

Currently, she was planting a trophy in Two face's territory and Two face was not a friend. Getting caught would be a very, very bad idea.

'Where's this one going?' She asked into the ear-piece.

'On the ledge, behind the chimney stack. Paint the question mark first.' He purred into her ear. 'He'll never find it there.'

Switch sighed and pulled out a can of luminous green spray paint. Of course he won't. It's not like it's in plain sight or anything. Oh wait…

She was loathe to bring this up, because Riddler lost all semblance of sanity when you mentioned it, but she felt it her duty to at least try. 'Um, Riddler?'

'Have you not finished with that clue yet?' Obviously he was thinking on the next one.

'Um, no. I was wondering though, why are we doing this? What's the point of giving Batgit hints?'

She knew it was the wrong time to ask, the line had suddenly gone dead. Riddler talked to himself a lot. It became background noise. When he stopped talking, it made you disorientated.

'Why?' She could hear overtones of anger in his sickly sweet voice. 'Because I want to prove that the Dork Knight isn't all that clever. That I am the superior intellect! That even with the clues I give him, ALL THE OPPERTUNITIES; he CAN'T win! He CAN'T figure them out! That he's been CHEATING all this time and I CANNOT STAND CHEATERS!'

Switch was forced to pull out the microphone as he steadily began to yell and throw a tantrum. It was buzzing indignantly and even with it a good arms length from her ear, she could still hear him screaming over and over again that Batman was cheating.

'Holy shit.' She muttered to herself. They really weren't kidding when they'd told her never to ask why they were giving the Bat clues. Riddler could pass for semi-sane until you bring that up and then you saw the crazy.

'What was that?' Switch paused, but Riddler was going for a personal best. Shadows were forming near the dilapidated chimney and she could hear footsteps. Her foot got caught in a mouldy coil of rope as she took a step back in alarm.

'Thought I heard something, around here.'

She took another step back and began to fumble with the rope when the flimsy roof collapsed under her feet.

When the world had stopped spinning, she was looking down at the broken remains of brick and glass, two floors below. The only thing that was postponing her inevitable fall was the rope that had wrapped itself around her foot, but now she could feel her boot begin to part company with her foot.

Oh, bother.

She thought about screaming, maybe begging Riddler to send Mannie and Zowie to get her, but she could hear the earpiece buzzing indignantly to itself on the roof.

'It came from around here.'

She looked up to see a few thugs dressed in two-face's gang colours looking around. It was only going to take a moment for one of them to see the earpiece and hear Riddler's voice before they see the twanging rope and find her. Then there was nothing for it but getting dragged down to two-face's hideout to get flayed.

Oh god, she didn't want to get flayed.

She was struggling to pull herself into the brickwork to get as much cover as she could when she heard the cry that went up around them. 'It's the Bat! Get 'im!'

The sounds of a scuffle began above, and more than one thug went flying off the roof. Switch covered her eyes; she didn't want to see what kind of splashy mess they made at the bottom. Curse her imagination, it was doing a good enough job on it's own.

When the shouts and cries had all been reduced to groaning and swearing, she felt a pull on the rope and looked up.

Switch understood why being upside down with the Batman looming over you was intimidating. It was definitely intimidating to her. 'Dead Switch.' He said.

'Um…A little help?' She asked.

'What were you doing up here?'

Valid question.

'Trophies.' She saw him turn to look at the fallen trophy and still damp spray paint on the wall behind him.

'You tried to hang me.' He accused her.

'Woah, woah, I did that once.' She said indignantly. 'It's not a habit!'

'You work for Riddler.' He frowned.

'Yeah? So are you going to leave me for two-face's goons to find and fillet?' She asked him.

'I could.' He intoned.

'Look, Riddler and Two-face aren't on great terms. You'd basically be killing me Bats.' She pleaded.

She could see him working through his options. He unclipped something from around his belt and fired it into the brickwork of the adjoining building a few feet above their heads. He tested the line with a good yank before he unclipped it and tossed it down to her.

'Have you got a good hold?' He grumbled.

'Yeah, I suppose. Why-'

She heard the rope around her ankle snap and with a scream she swung down and smashed through a window of the building next door.

She rolled on impact but the glass shards still tore her skin to shreds. She managed to stand and began gasping for air. When she finally looked up, he was gone.

She could still hear the groaning and swearing that he'd left in his wake. They weren't down for good; they were just smart enough to stay down until the Bat was gone.

'No more trophies.' She panted and began to hobble away.

* * *

A/N: MBatman doesn't seem happy to be saving Switch, but then who can blame him? She did try to choke him out.


	2. The steel mill

Steel Mill

The dull slap of meat as it connected sent fire up her torso. She felt herself involuntarily double over. Tears began to stream down her face as the goon stood back and massaged his fist.

'Imma ask ya again. Who sent yer?'

Were they blind? She was wearing Riddler colours; anyone would know who sent her! But then Joker didn't advertise for the smartest thugs now, did he?

'What's purple and green and red, not obviously alive but certainly dead?' She giggled to herself. She was amazed she could talk, considering the blood that was pooling in her mouth.

'Uh…' His comrades scratched their heads and shrugged. 'Dunno?'

'It's going to be you in the near future.' She laughed and spat blood onto his shoes. 'When Riddler gets hold of you.'

It was another abdomen shot. She felt herself stiffen as pain tore through her. 'Well what're these?' The painted clown waved a trophy in her face.

'They're trophies, moron.' She snapped. 'I'm hiding them for the bat to find.'

That certainly made it through their thick skulls. They were suddenly nervous. 'You're leading the bat here?'

'What?' She asked in surprise. 'Are you stupid? I'm not leading the bat-'

'What's goin' on down there?!' Someone screamed. Switch heard boots above and looked up to see Harley. 'Can't you idiots keep it down? I'm tendin' to mistah J.' She whined. 'SO SHUT UP!'

'Harley!' Switch managed to make herself heard.

'Switchy, is that you? You look awful!' Harley exclaimed.

'We found her snooping around the Steel Mill, Harley.' One of the thugs called up. 'And she had a bunch of these.' He held a trophy up into the light.

'Oh that's alright.' Harley waved a hand. 'Switchy's alright. Now play nice with her and KEEP IT DOWN. Mistah J is really not well.' Harley turned and walked away.

'You heard her.' Switch panted. 'Untie me.'

The thugs were exchanging glances. Knife found rope and her bonds fell away. Switch rubbed the feeling into her wrists and then snatched the trophy back.

'No "Sorry" for beating me up?' Switch spat more blood at their feet. 'Riddler hits harder anyway.'

Switch limped away; pleased she still had the use of her hands. In the Asylum she had the misfortune of meeting Mad Hatter on a bad trip into Wonderland. He thought she was the Queen of Hearts and was trying to kill Alice. He broke three of her fingers.

She really, really hated these trophies. She always found trouble when she was planting them.

Only another 182 to plant.

She sighed. That hurt her ribs.


	3. Zsasz

**I own no-one but Switch, did I mention that?**

* * *

Almost there, almost there, got it.

She'd had to get on her hands and knees to get under the fence with the riddle. To be fair, this was easier for the bat to get then it was for her to deposit it.

The Riddler costume she wore whenever she was in public was prone to catching on things and tearing it was out of the question, so she had to stop every couple of wiggles to free the lace.

She started to slide out; happy her work had gone undisturbed by the roaming gangs of thugs. The grabby, smart-ass thugs. This one was in Park Row and even she was a little fearful of this place.

Different gangs roamed around here, waiting, just waiting for the food delivery. It was almost like a pack of starving dogs when they were dropped. Dogs would snap and snarl and fight amongst themselves for the first bite, regardless of rank or privilege. It was a shared desperation that cut through ties and generally ended in blood.

Riddler wasn't psychotic where it showed so respect hardly extended to fear. Generally, they stole their food from a more successful gang. Currently, Two-Face wanted to use them as Piñatas, Penguin wanted them shot on sight and Joker was far too crazy to steal from.

They all had reasons to get their hands on Riddler, and they could all do it by going through her, which made her quite popular around here for all the wrong reasons.

Her dress slid easily on the cobbles, but she stopped moving when she felt her gangly legs hit boot.

She hoped it wasn't the Batman. She could do without another visit from him.

'Would you like me to liberate you?' Steel flashed in the darkness.

Ohgodohgodohgodohgod it was Zsasz.

She tried to scramble back through the fence to give herself a barrier between him and her, but Zsasz was fast. He grabbed her boot and yanked, hard.

Her fingers and elbows scrabbled in the dirt as she fought to gain distance but on the dusty cobbles, there was no advantage.

He flipped her over hard and held what looked like a kitchen knife to her neck. 'I know just where your mark can go.'

Please, god. Please just one break. Just one. She didn't want to die like this.

A roar bounced from building to building and slid past them, followed by others. She smelled smoke and felt debris rain down. The sky became white and then orange. Joker had blown the Church Tower. Zsasz was distracted; the blade was loose against her throat.

There is a god.

She slapped the knife away, reached up and punched him. Switch didn't wait for him to respond, she dived under the fence and wriggled non-stop, lacework be damned.

Zsasz was not happy judging by the things he was screaming at her. Things she really didn't want to repeat. There was a boarded up door in front of her and Zsasz behind. The rotten wood stood no chance.

Switch ran far and fast, but eventually she had to stop and breathe.

Her hands gripped her shaking knees as she wheezed air into her lungs.

That was close. That was way too uncomfortable. Nobody had told her Zsasz was running around, the psycho.

But the trophy had been planted.

'Ah ah ah! Not for you! Ah ah ah! Not for you! Ah ah-' That was Riddler's voice, on a pre-recorded loop.

It was getting closer, coming from around the corner. It was terrifying to think she was being chased by a crazy knife wielding psycho with her boss' annoying voice.

She turned to sprint the other way but paused as she saw her exit blocked by several hulking Two-Face goons.

'Wouldja look at that. It's Riddler's bitch.' They were smirking and laughing, pushing each other and grunting.

'I am _not_ Riddler's bitch.' She sighed.

'We're gonna send you back in an envelope! No-one steals from Two-Face!'

'I really don't have time for this.' She moaned.

'We do.' Some of the others were chuckling. Their laughter died on their lips as Zsasz came around the corner. 'Oh man, it's Zsasz.'

_'And cutting and cutting and-'_

That was all she wanted to hear. She'd take getting flayed over getting outright killed any day.

She blew past them and kept running until the screams and shouting were far, far behind her.

She staggered to the hideout and opened the door. She collapsed against it as it snapped shut.

'Where've you been?' Riddler demanded. Which was Riddler talk for 'Hi, how was your tedious and dangerous jog around the city?'

'Zsasz.' She panted. 'Two-face goons.'

'That's fine and dandy.' He muttered and waved a hand. 'I've got more to hide.'

Switch groaned and lent back on the door. Her head hit the metal with a dull thud. Just great. More damn trophies. How long was this torture going to go on?

* * *

A/N: Zsasz. Is there a more psycho inmate to bump into? Certainly one of the most dangerous. Poor Switch. At least she had those useless Two-Face thugs to distract him. She might have enjoyed the screaming if it wasn't her Zsasz was going to look for after he finished.


	4. Hatter

A/N: It's that time again! We've got another cameo! Hatter's masks, especially the one worn by Batman remind me of Donnie Darko. *shudders*

* * *

She had been planting trophies in a more sleezy sort of town, the kind filled with neon lights depicting a kicking leg in fishnets but then she'd heard a noise and turned to see Nigma waving from a roof below.

_The hell?_ She wondered. _He won't even leave his precious computers to set up his own damn death traps, but he's willing to do a rooftop jaunt without telling me?_ He was waving her down.

Despite the anger, she was entirely suspicious. She didn't know why, since the narcissist was entirely able to do this, she was just on high alert she guessed.

She tapped her earpiece to activate it. 'Riddler? Why are you here?'

She saw him reach up to answer. 'There's been a change of plans. Come down and I'll explain.'

Switch leapt the gap with ease and skidded her way down towards him.

And that was about all she remembered from then on.

The next thing she remembered was a hand around her neck, she was lying half on a table. Mannie and Zowie were towering over her uncertainly.

Her head hurt, everything hurt. How did she even get here? The last definitive memory of hers, she'd been out in the open. Her eyes darted around and took in the prone people sat at the table. Tea was soaking into her back and icing was smeared across her face.

'Boss, she's awake.'

Boss? Through the cacophony in her head a name managed to worm it's way down.

She tried to sit up but Mannie planted her back into the table.

She tried to twist around to find out what the bloody hell was going on and saw the most hideous rabbit mask she thought she'd ever seen. The inside was pulsing with wiring and circuit boards.

Tea. Cupcake icing. Rabbit masks. She groaned.

'I see you've worked it out.'

Mannie's hand was pulled away and she sat up. Her head was swimming and incredibly sore.

Riddler held Tetch in place against the wall with the end of his cane. Tetch's mind control hat lay crumpled behind them.

'I told you Jervis, at the Asylum.' Riddler's tone was dangerously icy. 'Not to get in my way.'

Tetch was making placating gestures and tried to move. Riddler forced him back. Switch jumped off the table and her legs almost buckled. She could see the tears and smears of blood that littered her leggings.

Riddler was still talking to Tetch, but Switch was more focused on how banged up her body was. Her hands, especially her nails, were bloody and cracked. Several bruises were already welting across them. Her legs were barely able to hold her own weight.

'And then you use her to attack me.' His tone practically flat-lined.

That would explain why she hurt almost everywhere. Nigma had probably had to beat her down to get the damn mask off. Switch should have felt angry but all she felt was tired and sore.

'You're lucky she doesn't seem to be brain damaged Jervis. I'd just have to kill you if that damn hat of yours had turned her into a vegetable.' The cane was pulled back. 'The next time, I will.'

He turned and indicated it was time to leave. Switch hobbled up behind him, a number of excuses and apologies trotted onto her tongue for getting caught in such an obvious trap, but they would only make it worse. Instead she just sighed.

Well, at least they knew where Tetch was hiding. She also knew Tetch was not to be underestimated on any account and finally, That Riddler had not held anything back. She really was in agony trying to keep up.

God damn Arkham City. It was, if possible, even worse than the Asylum.

* * *

Awww poor Switch. Looks like she could do with a break. *laughs*


	5. Talkative

A/N: Poor Switch. She's gone from getting beat up, to wishing she still was. Say hello to management Switch!

* * *

'Can you lot ever keep your mouths shut?' Switch wondered.

'He was threatening to beat the snot out of us!' One of them wailed.

'You morons can't take a punch?' She snarled.

Above them, they could hear the crashing and yelling that could only have been Riddler throwing a tantrum.

'You're all incredibly lucky.' Switch snapped. 'Cause Riddler doesn't give a toss about whether the Bat used you as a punchbag or not, you lot _told _him where to find those damn trophies and riddles.'

Switch ran a hand through her hair in frustration. 'You almost got me lynched, again.' She muttered and then turned a wrathful finger on the terrified thugs. 'You think the Bat's terrifying? You've seen the contraptions we've been leaving around the city. You want Riddler hunting your ass?'

There was a chorus of no.

'Then I suggest you learn to take a punch. Get the hell out of here!'

She waited until they had been gone for a few minutes before she allowed herself to sag. Above her, the cursing and yelling was still ongoing, but the banging and crashing had stopped.

The only reason those stupid morons were alive was Switch. She'd somehow managed to convince him that their deaths would only inspire the Bat to cheat even more.

And changing Riddler's mind was a difficult task. She would only recommend doing it on a very rare occasion.

Normally, she didn't see too much of his anger, she was always out hiding trophies. After the whole incident with Hatter though, Switch was by far too injured to climb buildings and fit through vents so the thugs had picked up her slack.

They were now responsible for distributing the glowing neon goodies.

The door to the monitor room snapped open. 'DEAD SWITCH!'

But that didn't mean she was taking it easy. Now she had to control Nigma's temper as the Bat began his rescue of their hostages.

'He's rescued another one! _How_ is he cheating? How, how, how?!' Nigma raged.

A roller chair slid out of the office at high speed and crashed into the concrete a few lengths from Switch.

She sighed. Dealing with Nigma was by far more stressful than hiding his trophies in the city.

Maybe getting chased, harassed, beaten and shot at wasn't as terrible as she thought it had been. At least it kept her away from her biggest aggravation. Riddler.

She climbed the rusted steel stairs carefully and stood just behind the door-frame, well aware that Nigma's aim when enraged was simply superb.

'He's using the thugs to find the trophies and riddles.' She said.

He didn't give her a reply, but she could hear the heavy breaths as he calmed down. She deemed it safe to enter and stepped into the dull light that the monitors gave off.

He was staring at one particular monitor intently, a vein was pulsing on his neck and his face was a rapidly cooling shade of red.

'He's cheating.' Riddler snarled.

She watched a tiny bat-blob escort a terrified doctor into the entrance of the church and then swoop off. 'He's Batman.' She replied.

'Well, we're not going to have that.' Riddler snapped, almost like he wasn't listening to her.

Switch didn't like his tone; it was suddenly a whole new level of dangerous. 'What are we going to do?' She asked.

Riddler seemed to be talking to himself. 'If he wants trophies, we'll give him trophies. Yes.' He then turned to Switch. 'Lets set a little trap for Batman that _is_ impossible to escape.' He turned back to the monitors and cupped his chin in thought. 'Make that several traps. Just to make sure.'

As she retreated, she could have sworn she'd heard a low, dark chuckle escape from his lips.

This was not going to end well but that seemed to be the mantra of Arkham City. It was best to just play along and do what he said. After all, it's entirely his plan and she couldn't possibly get intro trouble for following the plan- Right?


	6. Meant for a Cat

A/N: I had to do _something _regarding those hot pink trophies one finds around the city. Pink? Really Riddler?

* * *

'Edward…Those trophies are pink.' Switch deadpanned.

'How utterly observant, they're for Catwoman.' He snapped.

'But they're pink!' Switch just wasn't going to let go of the fact that Nigma was playing with a hot pink neon question mark.

'Women like pink.' He pouted.

'That is a fallacy!' Switch replied, angrily.

'Fine. I needed another colour to distinguish the ones for the Cat from the ones for the Bat.' Nigma finally sighed. 'And Dent is being an absolute thorn in my side regarding provisions.'

'Of course Dent is being a thorn, we stole all his food.' Switch pointed out.

Nigma smirked, only just noticeable in the gloom. His fingers idly played with the trophy. At the touch it immediately came to life. _'What do you call a Bat that tries to take that meant for a Cat?' _

'Bit much, don't you think?' Switch asked as she listened to the smug tone.

Nigma snorted. 'Hardly.'

'So where are we going to put these? The city is fit to bursting with the ones for Batman.' Switch sighed.

'The places he can't reach, obviously.' Riddler replied.

Switch leaned against the door-frame and considered this. 'You do know he's a walking Swiss army knife?'

'Even the bat has his limits.' Riddler muttered. He held the trophy up to the light. 'Though I must admit, it will be interesting to see how well Catwoman does.'

The glow from the unusually vivid pink trophy was wrong. But then again, Nigma had never shown an interest to test anyone like he tested Batman.

'An unknown mind to boggle.' He seemed to read her mind as he stared, lost in thought for a moment.

The bags under his eyes were a dull purple in the harsh light of the monitors, it looked like someone had blackened both of his eyes. He had also neglected to shave, again.

His shirt sleeves had been rolled up, his tie tossed into a corner, the cane and hat leaned against a wall. 'How smart is our Cat? Will she find all her perfect pussycat prizes?' He snorted and placed the trophy gently on top of a monitor. 'I doubt it.'

Switch simply sighed.

She didn't feel sorry for the Bat, but she certainly felt sorry for the Cat.


	7. Outwitted

A/N: Seems fitting I should finish with Riddler getting canned. I took the entire dialogue from the game itself and added one or two thoughts from Switch. Cash is going to have to watch his back ;)

That's all folks! Finis!

* * *

'_That's right worms, keep walking. You remember how to walk, don't you?' _

Switch had to chuckle. Nigma just loved having so much control while he waited for Batman to show up.

She was watching a live feed on the hideout monitors as Nigma taunted and chastised the unfortunates that were left to endure the last game.

'_Riddler! When I get outta here I'm gonna hurt you for this! You hear me?!' _

_Oh Cash._ Switch thought with a smirk. _So much attitude._

'_Come now Mr. Cash. In order to hurt me, you would have to break free from the predicament you find yourself in and attack me in such a way that does not cause me to press this remote detonator. Distributing your primitive DNA all over the walls.'_

_Why did he have to tell them that?_ Switch wondered. Of course Cash and his monkeys were never going to figure it out, but the Bat was sneaky, he could have been listening in.

'_I'll do it!'_ Cash threatened.

_Of course he won't._ Switch thought. She wished she had popcorn, and maybe a better microphone. Everything sounded tinny.

Wait…

Was that footsteps?

'_You'll try, I'll give you that. But you won't succeed without blowing yourself up. Oh, and I'm sure I mentioned the remote detonator I have here.'_

There he went again. Switch desperately wanted to reach for her phone and call him but he'd made it quite clear that if she did while he was grandstanding, then the next person to endure the collars she'd so patiently put together, would be her.

_Jerk._

'_One press Cash, and you ignorant buffoons would be all over the walls.'_ How very graphic. Not like Nigma to be so…Crude.

'_I can work all night, Riddler.' _Cash warned.

'_Good. Lets see if you feel the same tomorrow.'_

Switch settled back into the chair and watched the show.

A flash of black darted across the screen and caused Switch to sit a little straighter. _The Bat was there._

_Where'd be go? He was there a minute ago! Where could he have_- Two hands smashed through the floor and grabbed Riddler's ankles.

_Shit. _She moved forward. The Bat had pulled him through the floor and within seconds, he was stomping on his face.

_Brute._ Switch seethed.

The next thing, they were strapping him into his own machines. She could hear him, only barely. _'This can't be happening. Do you really expect me to fall for this Dark Knight? I know you won't kill me.'_

'_Get your ass movin' Riddler!' _Cash, the bastard had the detonator.

'_You can't tell me what to do!'_ Nigma snapped.

'_Do I need to press the button?'_

'_What? No! You'll pay for this Batman!'_

Nigma was dragged around the corner and Switch sighed. _So much for that._

'_You sure this thing won't work?' _Cash brandished the detonator.

'_No. But there's no point letting him know that, is there?' _They shared a laugh as the sounds of Riddler getting tortured by his own design bounced from wall to wall.

_Oh for the love of-_ Switch stood and marched out onto the balcony. 'Mannie! Zowie!' She shrieked.

The two henchmen were playing go fish. Of all things. At the sound of their names, they looked up. 'Boss got caught?' Mannie asked.

'We gotta go rescue him.' Switch sighed as she descended the staircase and approached the table.

Zowie laughed and punched the other man in the shoulder. 'Told ya he would, Cough up!'

Mannie scowled and slapped a wad of notes onto the table.

Switch snatched the cash before Zowie even got near it and pocketed the lot. 'Don't you boys know gambling is bad? Get the tools.' She snapped.

He was not going to be in the happiest mood when they sprang him. She was going to have to get rid of Cash before Nigma got his hands on him, too. His normally bulletproof ego had taken several knocks and he was going to be out for revenge.

The only reason Switch was willing to keep them apart until Nigma forgot the incident was because she just couldn't deal with corpse duty. It was dirty, terribly boring work and at the current temperatures, the ground would be frozen solid. Hardly ideal to dig.

So at least for the next few weeks, Nigma and Cash were not to come into contact with each other.

Batman had won again, but that just made Nigma more determined. Besides….There was always the next time.


End file.
